Two Year Anniversary: It’s OK to marry someone you disagree with

Two years ago today we were running out of a church basement, getting bird seed in our hair and down our shirts and so firmly wedged in the folds of our red convertible top, that we were followed by a group of hungry pigeons for the rest of our honeymoon.

Everyone told us that the hardest part of our relationship came after the wedding. They told us that the first year would be the hardest year of our marriage. We buckled down for it, expecting horrid newlywed fights or misery or something, but actually the first year was great – so much easier than dating and wrestling through agonizing rounds of “Is he/she really the ONE?”

Really, the first year (we found out) was all about learning about each other.

I remember the first couple months of being Mr and Mrs. I used to be afraid of disagreement – like it meant we weren’t soul mates or meant to be together. I used to freak out whenever we didn’t see eye-to-eye on some theology point, or if we had different tastes in IKEA furniture or evening movie selection.

But economist husband (very calmly) helped me see that this is silliness. And that it’s okay for us to have different points of view and still be a great couple, and that maybe the differences even makes us stronger.

So, on our 2 year wedding anniversary, a commemorative “His and Hers” list, that just goes to show that finding your soul mate doesn’t mean finding someone else exactly like you!

  • He likes parks with straight lines, manicured lawns, orderly sidewalks and seasonally-tended flower pots. She prefers them with lots of trees and hills and wild woods and crumbling buildings and slippery stones and log-bridges fallen over ravines where you can get lost and forget you’re in the city.
  • He likes Adam Sandler movies with a bit of violent humor and she likes Anne of Green Gables with sappy music and all the nature views.
  • He likes beer and she likes wine.
  • He likes collecting black-colored technology with shiny screens. She likes hoarding shelves of musty, ink-scented books
  • He likes dressing in bold, geometric patterned ties. She likes wearing prizes combed from the back of discount racks.
  • He likes analyzing financial trend charts and watching You Tube videos. She likes blogging.
  • He prefers the efficiency of eating out of a can rather than wasting time with preparation. She likes to pore over new recipes like artwork – adding spices like colors.
  • He’s steady like a great black draft horse. She’s emotionally twitchy like a red-tailed squirrel
  • He likes bright, clean new architecture, she prefers something old with a history to tell.
  • He likes driving in a climate-control, leather interior car and she likes public transportation with walking and no gas-insurance-maintenance-financial responsibility.
  • He likes tennis and she likes yoga
  • He likes country music and she likes folk.
  • He likes small, flat pillows and she likes big fluffy ones

So here I am, two years later, and so very, very, very thankful for a husband that’s not like me!!!

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2 Responses to Two Year Anniversary: It’s OK to marry someone you disagree with

  1. maryfran says:


  2. Pingback: Happy Anniversary! | Breakfast in Moscow

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